Sam's Four Wishes
ONE DAY SAM WERE OUT WALKIN'
IN T'WOODS NOT TOO-FAR FROM 'OME
WHEN ‘EARIN' A SOUND HE STOPPED AND TURNED ROUND
AND STANDING RIGHT THERE WERE A GNOME
WELL WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT ! SAID SAM WITH SURPRISE
I'VE READ ABOUT YOU LOT IN BOOKS
BUT I NEVER THOUGHT 'OW I'D SEE ONE IN THE FLESH
AN' T'GNOME GIVE HIM ONE O' THEM LOOKS
OH NO NOT AGAIN! SAID T’GNOME - GRUMPY LIKE
SAM'S EYES OPEN WIDE AS PIE DISHES
AN' T'GNOME SHOOK HIS 'EAD, SAT DOWN, AN' HE SAID
I SUPPOSE YOU'LL BE WANTIN' THREE WISHES
WELL SAM WERE NON-PLUSSED AN' STOOD RUBBIN' HIS EYES
AN' DECIDED RIGHT THERE AND THEN
AS 'OW THERE WERE CERTAIN THINGS IN HIS LIFE
THAT THREE WISHES COULD POSSIBLY MEND
HIS NEICE FOR INSTANCE - A LOVELY GIRL
FROM A LOVELY 'OME AND GOD - FEARIN'
SHE'D BEEN VERY POORLY WHEN SHE WERE NEW-BORN
AND IT 'AD LEFT 'ER FAIR 'ARD OF 'EARIN'
AND THAT LASS DOWN T'ROAD WI' 'ER 'USBAND ON T'DOLE
IN A POOR LITTLE 'OUSE BUT FAIR CLEAN AND NEAT
WI' A FEW QUID FROM T'GNOME THEY COULD FIX-UP THEIR 'OME
AND HAVE SUMMAT PROPER TO EAT
AND THEM KIND FOLKS AT T'CHURCH HOLDING RAFFLES AND SUCH
FOR TH' OLD FOLKS AT TH' OLD FOLKS 'OME
SAVIN' TO BUY 'EM A CHARA' TO TAKE 'EM TO T’BEACH
THIS WERE THIRD THING 'E'D BE ASKIN' FROM T’GNOME
T’GNOME SAID RIGHT 'O THEN SAM HAVE YOU THOUGHT
AND SAM SAID AS 'OW HE WERE READY
HE RATTLED OFF T'WISHES ONE AFTER T'OTHER
AND GNOME SAID 'ANG ON NOW SAM - STEADY!
THESE WISHES ARE YOURS SAM BUT FOLK USUALLY ASK
FOR GOLD AND SILVER AND JEWELS
BUT I'LL GRANT THEE THI' WISH AND I'LL PROMISE THEE THIS
NOT ALL THEM THAT SLAVVER ARE FOOLS
AND THEN IT WERE DONE IN A TWINKLIN' O' TH'EYE
SAM WERE DYIN' TO RUN 'OME AND TELL MOTHER
BUT T’GNOME SAID AS 'OW ‘E WERE SO PLEASED WI' SAM
HE'D BREAK RULES AND HE'D GIVE HIM ANOTHER
SAM THOUGHT FOR A WHILE AND HE STARTED TO SMILE
AS T'GNOME GENTLY TUGGED ON 'IS BEARD
THANKS VERY MUCH GNOME - I'LL WISH THEE GOOD DAY
AND QUICK AS A FLASH T’GNOME DISAPPEARED
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